Four Forms of Feminine Power
Women have great natural power, which is very different to the forms of power men possess. In my work, I aim to draw attention to the beautiful differences between the sexes, and approach any issues that arise with a sense of playfulness, curiosity and empathy.
I suggest dividing feminine power into four main archetypal categories: the power of physical weakness or vulnerability; sexual power; the power of motherhood; and the power of virginity or independence from the male.
All these powers inflict great psychological burden on men, but their manifestations aren’t always obvious. They’re certainly not nearly as evident as men’s greater physical strength, which is clearly visible to the naked eye.
1. The Power of Physical Weakness or Vulnerability
Women’s relative physical weakness has instilled in men the instinct to protect women throughout our evolutionary history. Women wouldn’t have been able to survive without male protection until safe cities became a reality – something we tend to take for granted.
Women’s smaller size and childlike features, known as neoteny, evoke in men a natural impulse to want to keep them safe. Putting women and children in the same category to be rescued first during disasters and emergencies is an obvious sign of the infantilisation of women, which women have benefited from throughout history. There are no women claiming to be equal to men aboard a sinking ship.
Women can maximise the power of this instinct by exaggerating their childlikeness even further, by emphasising their vulnerability and naivety when it suits them. In other situations, especially when demanding equal rights, women can emphasise their innate strength and self-determination.
This almost schizophrenic dichotomy is a defining feature of feminist thinking. One moment they pretend to be weak, in order to receive special treatment under the law and by social institutions. And the next moment they claim to be strong, independent women who are ready to be treated the same as men.
Men don’t have the same privilege and power to evoke sympathy in people, because all societies generally expect men to be strong, confident and ready to sacrifice themselves for their community. The cost of women and children’s comfort and safety has always been male disposability.
‘Chivalry’ by Frank Bernard Dicksee (1885)
Check out my videos on the damsel in distress archetype, the infantilisation of women and the glorification of victimhood to learn more about the special power of women’s weakness.
2. Sexual Power
Women’s sexual power makes them the gatekeepers of sex and procreation. Therefore, a rejection by a woman is akin to rejection by Nature, telling the man his genes are not worthy of being passed on.
Also, the number of women in a community puts an absolute limit on the community’s reproductive potential, because a woman can only carry one man’s child for nine months, while a single man could, in theory, impregnate a large number of women over a short period of time. This makes eggs more valuable than sperms, which is one of the reasons societies tend to view men as the more disposable sex. But women’s greater reproductive value is balanced out partly by every society’s reliance on men to do all the dangerous jobs and keep women and children safe.
Even in cultures where arranged marriages are the norm, woman is still the mistress of birth. Throughout all human history, until just a couple of generations ago, sex and reproduction were closely linked, and the mystery of the female body has always inspired both fear and admiration.
In polytheistic religions, goddesses of sex are always different from mother goddesses, which tells us that our ancestors made a clear conceptual distinction between these two archetypes. It means that in our collective unconscious, sexuality and procreation have always been separate forces, and there has been a deep-seated desire for sexual freedom from Nature.
For the first time in history, we have finally succeeded in (at least partially) liberating female sexuality from Nature’s terrifying grip. Women can now, in theory, have sex without a fear of pregnancy... But our hunter-gatherer brains can’t keep up with the speed of social progress. Women remain more selective about their sexual partners than men, especially when it comes to casual encounters. This means that the availability of birth control has only expanded female sexual power.
Pagan goddesses of sex – Inanna, Ishtar, Astarte, Aphrodite, Venus and Freya – have never really been eradicated by Christianity. These goddesses continue to be worshipped though portrayals of sensual, playful, sexually adventurous women in art, literature, music and cinema.
‘The Pearls of Aphrodite’ by Herbert James Draper (1907)
Nonetheless, female sexual power can manifest itself in various ways. The modest, traditional woman can lure a man into marriage by refusing to have sex until the wedding night. Women like these rely on pretending they don’t particularly enjoy the physical act of lovemaking for its own sake – but rather, it’s a gift they give their husbands, treating it as something that the man must earn.
In a Greek myth, Zeus and Hera are arguing over who enjoys sex more: the man or the woman. They ask Tiresias to decide, because he’d experienced both, and he replies: "Of ten parts a man enjoys one only, but a woman enjoys the full ten parts in her heart." Hera is so enraged by this judgment that she strikes Tiresias blind, because she feels she has been exposed. She can no longer control Zeus by pretending sex is something she does for him, merely as a favour.
3. The Power of Motherhood
The power of motherhood, to me, means three things. Firstly, before DNA tests, there used to be no way of telling for certain who the father of a child was, while there was never any doubt about the mother’s identity. This is a timeless source of much male frustration. Secondly, the vulnerability of pregnant women and mothers with small children is amplified to an enormous extent, prompting all of society to take good care of them. Thirdly, motherly nurturance signifies an aspect of pair-bonding in all relationships between men and women.
Men’s fear of female sexuality is partly a fear of abandonment by mother, because every woman is a potential mother whose infant is utterly dependent on being nourished by her. Therefore, being rejected by woman is rejection not only by Mother Nature, but also by the archetype of the Great Mother. Carl Jung described another archetype, the Terrible Mother, as the dark sister of the Great Mother, who destroys or rejects her own creation.
Mothers have incredible power in shaping the lives of their children, and their influence may be overwhelmingly positive or devastatingly negative. A civilisation that doesn’t honour the power of motherhood is one that is doomed to perish.
There is no mythology without a mother goddess, because the image of the mother is central to all of human existence. Indeed, she is the first archetype we all encounter. Sumerian Ninhursag, Egyptian Isis and Greek Demeter are all very powerful deities. These goddesses live on in Mary in Christianity, and her veneration in the Catholic Church even calls into question the monotheistic nature of the religion.
Egyptian goddess Isis with her son Horus, and the Virgin Mary with baby Jesus
4. The Power of Virginity (or Independence from the Male)
Inspired by Christianity, traditionalists and conservatives view female virginity as a symbol of purity and innocence. Feminists reject this idea as a vehicle of women’s oppression.
But a woman’s virginity, in a psychological sense, represents that which doesn’t belong to man. The virgin goddesses of polytheistic religions are captivating symbols of feminine independence from male influence.
Athena, the wise virgin warrior, embodies this unique power. As an archetype, Athena is a strong force within the psyches of women who reject the traditional female role of mother and homemaker. These are the women who would’ve felt oppressed during times in history when it was difficult for women to pursue ambitions other than marriage and motherhood. (But I want to stress that during these times in history men’s roles were just as strict as women’s, just in a different way.) The Athena archetype values independence and seeks to compete with men on equal ground.
‘Pallas Athene’ by Rembrandt (c. 1655)
Another virgin goddess from Greek mythology is the huntress Artemis. Like Athena, she represents the feminine spirit that is complete in itself and doesn’t seek union with the male. Yet another example is Hestia, the personification of the hearth at the centre of the home – the archetype of the introverted woman who feels whole without a man.
Conclusion
These four sources of feminine power clearly differentiate women from men. They show that women have never been powerless; they have just expressed their power and agency in ways different to men.
Although women are now free to pursue masculine forms of power, they don’t have to. There is a vast, stunning range of feminine existence available to us, other than the two extremes of traditional motherhood and feminist leadership. Women can be just as powerful as men, if not more powerful, by embracing their femininity and all the unique, beautiful gifts that come with it.